Reaching Back
by BlackAngel1
Summary: 2+4, mentioned 1x4. Duo wants to help his friend before his friend decides that he's not worth helping.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from GW .  
  
_word_ = italics/thoughts  
  
Reaching Back  
  
Duo watched his best friend slowly get out of bed. The blonde winced openly as he limped and staggered into the bathroom. Duo waited in the soft armchair where he had spent most of the night. Quatre had had another nightmare and he had called out to his koi, but the silent Japanese boy had never come. Duo had awaked from a deep sleep to hear Quatre's frantic calls. Duo had woken Heero and told him that Quatre was calling him. Heero had 'hn'ed and went back to sleep.  
  
Duo had gone instead and he found Quatre still dreaming. He had just come back from a mission where he had been captured and tortured. Duo, along with Wufei believed that he had also been sexually assaulted, but the Arab wouldn't talk about it. He didn't seem to talk at all usually, except in his dreams. But to no avail, the one he kept reaching out to wasn't reaching back.  
  
Duo watched as the door opened, then he watched Quatre limp painfully to the bed. That's all Duo seemed to do: watch. He had offered help, but Quatre had refused, wanting to be strong. He thought Heero saw him as weak. Quatre agreed to stay in bed to at least try to recover, but he refused any help. He kept saying that he only had a few broken ribs.  
  
Five to be exact. His ankle was actually broken, but had been set and not wrapped. His pelvis bone had been cracked and his tailbone seriously bruised. He had been beaten as well. Duo wished he could be empathetic so he could feel Quatre's pain, so he would know what else was wrong, but also because he wanted to experience any pain with Quatre so Quatre wasn't alone.  
  
"Hey Cat, you wanna go into the garden today?" Duo sat up and leaned forward in the chair. Quatre rested his head against one of the pillows. Duo waited for the excuse. He was too tired; he was waiting for Heero. Things Duo knew weren't true.  
  
"That sounds like a fun idea." Quatre nodded, surprising the Deathscythe pilot, "But can I take a nap first?" He wondered softly as he settled down painfully. Duo got up and sat beside the small blonde on the bed, Quatre smiled slightly, "I'm okay Duo, I promise." He said as he took a hold of Duo's hand. "Will you stay with me? I.I don't really want to be alone." His voice grew into a whisper as he looked up into Duo's violet eyes.  
  
He smiled at the blonde, "Of course. I'll be here when you wake up." Duo promised as Quatre closed his eyes to sleep. Within minutes the young Arabian was fast asleep. Duo watched him sleep for a long time. Then he carefully let go of Quatre's hand and sat back down in the armchair. Duo yawned quietly and settled down to rest as well.  
  
***  
  
Duo opened his eyes at the familiar cries of Heero's name. He looked and saw Quatre tossing under the sheets. He moaned in pain as his body jerked. Sweat coated the thin body and the sweat, as well as the tears gleamed in the sunlight, which fell in through the open window. Duo caught himself admiring the pure beauty of his friend.  
  
He shook himself and got up, sitting down beside the sobbing body. "Quatre, wake up." Duo carefully shook Quatre's shoulder but Quatre only slapped his hands away. After a few frustrating minutes Duo finally jumped onto the bed and straddled Quatre's legs and hips and pinned his arms above his head so he couldn't hurt himself by moving.  
  
Quatre began to thrash wildly screaming and sobbing. Duo yelled at him to wake up but Quatre was in too deep. There was a bang and Duo looked at the door to find the others had rushed in. Before they could jump to any conclusions he spoke, "He's having a nightmare and I can't wake him up." He explained. He looked back down at Quatre, "Come on Cat, Heero's here." He said.  
  
"Heero." Quatre whimpered then began to sob.  
  
"Nice going Maxwell." Wufei hissed, "You know that Heero doesn't want him." He yelled.  
  
Duo looked at the Wing pilot. Heero nodded. "I kissed him once. He's worse than Relena is. I don't love him or will I ever love him." He hissed and left the room.  
  
Duo suddenly realized that Quatre had stopped struggling and was now still and silent. "Cat?" He whispered as Quatre turned to look at the window. He was silent and Duo gently let go of his hands but Quatre didn't move. "Are you okay kiddo?" Duo gently wiped the tears and sweat from Quatre's flushed face.  
  
Quatre slowly shook his head. Duo didn't know what to do then remembered the other two. He turned back to find Wufei standing in the room. Trowa had probably left with Heero. _He's supposed to be Quatre's friend!_ Duo thought angrily. "Leave Wufei." Duo said as calmly as he could. Wufei left without a word.  
  
"Are you going to leave me too Duo?" Quatre's small voice made Duo look at him. Quatre's eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "I'll understand if you do." He whispered sincerely.  
  
Duo only shook his head. "I'd never leave a friend, least of all you." He said softly and gently wiped the sweat soaked hair from Quatre's forehead. Duo's fingers lingered longer than they had to and Quatre looked up into Duo's eyes. Duo looked back and his heart began to beat faster.  
  
"Quatre.I." He wanted to taste the crystal like tears on Quatre's flushed cheeks. He wanted to kiss the swollen pink lips in front of him. He wanted to run his fingers through Quatre's silky blonde hair, even with the sweat, and caress the soft skin of the Arab's slender back.  
  
They were interrupted by a knock on the door and Duo drew back quickly. Trowa stood there holding a tray. "What do you want?" Duo crossed his arms.  
  
Trowa only crossed the room and set the tray with a glass of water, tea ad a small bowl of applesauce. "I'm on your side Duo. I left to give Quatre some privacy. I thought you might be a little hungry." He said the last part to Quatre.  
  
Quatre only nodded. Trowa turned back to Duo, "Are you going to get off of him anytime soon?" He asked calmly.  
  
Duo looked down at where he was sitting. "Oh! Sorry Quatre!" He jumped off and helped the blonde to sit up. Quatre felt a great lost without Duo sitting over him. It was as though he had been protected from anything. Now he felt cold and vulnerable.  
  
Trowa placed the tray on Quatre's lap, then sat down in the armchair. Quatre slowly ate the small amount of food. He kept glancing at Duo who had taken a seat on the long window ledge. Quatre remembered a night about four months ago. He had been upset because he had gotten into a fight with his father. Heero had sat with him and had let him talk his anger out and then Heero had kissed him.  
  
It ended up with them making love. At least that's what Quatre had convinced himself. They had only had sex. Heero had taken Quatre's innocence and Quatre had given Heero his heart. Now that he thought back Quatre realized that Heero had only kissed him that one night. During their love sessions, no sex sessions there wasn't much of anything. Heero had never moaned or made any sounds until his release. He had never noticed that Quatre was always in tears because he had been rough. They had only had sex face to face the first time, and Quatre was always on the bottom.  
  
Heero would fuck Quatre until his release then he'd roll off the blonde and go to sleep. Quatre always told himself that it was because Heero had been tired and he'd take care of his own problem himself.  
  
"Cat?" Duo's voice woke him from his thoughts. "You okay?" His friend asked as he felt hot tears rush from his eyes.  
  
"Yeah." Quatre nodded, "I'll be fine." He quickly wiped the tears away, "I was just thinking." He smiled sadly; then he looked up at Duo, "Are we still going to the garden?" He wondered softly.  
  
"Yeah, if you want." Duo nodded. He knew Quatre had been thinking about Heero. He sighed mentally. When he had seen the two together his heart had broke. Quatre was more than his best friend, at least Duo wanted more.  
  
Quatre turned to Trowa; "Will you be joining us Trowa?" He wondered quietly. He wanted to be alone with Duo for a while but Trowa was always welcome.  
  
"No, but thanks. I'm due at the circus soon. I wanted to make sure that you were all right. And I see that you are so I'd better go." Trowa got up and bowed slightly, "Call me if you need anything." He said and left the room.  
  
As soon as the door had shut Duo got up and sat beside Quatre on the bed, "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked softly.  
  
Quatre nodded, "I'm pretty used to disappointments." He shrugged, "And I'm pretty used to be used too." He looked down at the bed. A hand on his face made him look up again. Duo was close and he looked almost hurt. Quatre watched as Duo thought of the words to say.  
  
"Cat.who do you thinks used you?" He whispered softly, gently wiping a stray tear from Quatre's soft cheek.  
  
"Just about everyone I know." Quatre replied trying to smile but instead he sobbed quietly. "Heero, my father, the scientists, am I just a puppet Duo? A plaything? Is that all I'll ever amount to?" He whimpered.  
  
"No Quatre." Duo shook his head, gently wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's neck and gently pressing their foreheads together so Quatre had to look into Duo's eyes. "You are already so much more than you think." He whispered.  
  
"To who?" Quatre's voice broke.  
  
"To me." Duo whispered and gently pressed his lips against Quatre's. He felt the body tense beneath his, but it soon relaxed. Duo gently deepened the kiss as he found one of Quatre's hands.  
  
A tear slid from Quatre's eye. _Duo's using me too. Might as well, I'm not good for anything anyway._ But Quatre liked the gentleness of Duo's touch; he could feel that Duo was trembling. _He's not using me.he's as scared as I am._ Quatre opened his eyes as the kiss ended. He gazed up at Duo almost questioningly.  
  
Duo looked down, embarrassed. "When you and Heero first hooked up.I was jealous.at first I thought it was because you were my best friend and I hardly got to see you, either of you without feeling as if I were in the way. But then I found that I liked you more than a friend to me. I know it sounds corny but it's all true." He spoke softly.  
  
There was silence from Quatre, then, "Why are you telling me this Duo?" He voice sounded funny, as if he had started to cry again. "Here I was, felling sorry for myself and you had to go and ruin it as usual." Duo looked up and found Quatre smiling.  
  
Duo smiled too. "I don't mean to trap you with this, but I didn't want you to think you're nothing and hurt yourself." He explained. Quatre could feel Duo's relief and he could feel his love towards the small blonde boy.  
  
"You're a wonderful friend Duo and I feel better knowing you'll always be there for me." Quatre began.  
  
"But." Duo opened the excuse.  
  
"But." Quatre said slowly, "Next time, don't wait until I'm crying to kiss me." He grinned.  
  
"Next time?" Duo looked up and saw Quatre's grin. Duo matched his smile and pulled the boy into his arms. They stayed together for a few minutes then separated. Duo looked at Quatre and smiled softly, "I don't want to pull you into anything you're not ready for Cat. I mean.with Heero and all." Duo shrugged uncomfortably.  
  
Quatre only shook his head as he took a firm hold of Duo's hand. "I think I knew that Heero was using me but I didn't want to believe it. I was so desperate to feel loved." Quatre looked down at the bed. "I'm weak." He whispered.  
  
Duo gently lifted Quatre's face by his chin. "Yes you are." He said and Quatre looked down again, ashamed. "All human's are. It's only our nature. Cat, you were depressed and needed to feel loved. I think Heero was weak for taking advantage of you like that." Duo spoke calmly.  
  
"Thanks Duo." Quatre whispered as he leaned his head on Duo's shoulder.  
  
"Don't thank me for something I like doing." Duo said and carefully slipped his hands and arms under Quatre and lifted him from the bed. Quatre clung to his neck, not wanting to fall.  
  
"Where are we going?" Quatre wondered as Duo carried him out of the room and down the hall.  
  
"The garden." Duo replied and Quatre gasped.  
  
"Duo! I'm only wearing boxers!" He whispered feeling self-conscious.  
  
"What? Worried Sandrock will see?" Duo grinned as Quatre scowled. "You look so cute when you do that." He commented which made Quatre blush, "When ya do that too." He said as they made their way down the stairs.  
  
Quatre remained silent for a few minutes then spoke. "I could walk you know." He pointed out gently.  
  
"I know." Duo nodded, "I wanna get there before tomorrow morning though." He said, reminding Quatre of his injuries. "Besides, I like holding you." He said softly.  
  
Quatre smiled to himself as he leaned his forehead against Duo's neck. Duo carried Quatre into the music room and to the sliding glass doors. Carefully Duo opened the door and walked out into the garden. It was a beautiful warm day and Quatre closed his eyes and let the sun warm his beaten body.  
  
Duo carried Quatre over to a large tree and sat down under it, keeping the blonde Arabian in his lap. Quatre stretched out and sat on the ground between Duo's legs being careful about his tailbone. He leaned back against Duo's chest and closed his eyes. He felt arms wrap around his chest gently, being careful of his ribs. "I have four questions about your capture." Duo whispered. Quatre nodded, waiting, "Okay. Question one: were you raped or molested?" Duo whispered.  
  
He waited until Quatre rested his head against his shoulder. He felt Quatre sigh, "Yes." He whispered.  
  
Duo nuzzled his face in Quatre's hair as the boy shuttered. "Okay. Second question: how many times?" Duo asked as he gently caressed Quatre's arms.  
  
"Too many to remember." Quatre whispered shaking his head slightly. He shuttered again and Duo hugged him carefully.  
  
"Third question: are you going to be all right?" He wondered softy. Quatre turned in Duo's arms and smiled brightly, despite the tears glistening in his eyes.  
  
"I hope so. As long as I'm with you I think so." He whispered.  
  
Duo smiled warmly, "Last question." The smile disappeared, "When you're ready.will you tell me what happened to you? I don't want you to go through that alone." He whispered.  
  
A tear fell from Quatre's eye and Duo thought he had done something wrong. "Are you sure you want to hear about it? I don't want to bother you." Quatre whispered.  
  
"Bother me? You? Never. I want to know what you've been through so I can help you share your pain. I know you Cat, you help everyone with their problems but then you're stuck alone with no one to talk to yourself."  
  
Quatre smiled, "Alright, then when I'm ready, I'll tell you." He said and softly pressed his lips against Duo's. They sat under the tree for a long time. Kissing, holding each other and talking about nothing of big importance. For once in Quatre's (now meaningful) life, the one he reached out to with love, was reaching back.  
  
  
  
Dija like it? Review please!! 


End file.
